tirsden: a creepy child swings on a creepy swing (pl4y n!c3)
[personal profile] tirsden
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay I played D&D for the first time evar, with [livejournal.com profile] ciderbarrel and [livejournal.com profile] aridiar. My character Pocky Stix etc etc is now a level 2 chaotic neutral gnome cleric who's a total airhead and so annoying I annoyed myself. LOL. Fun. XD

Background info:
Name: Pocky Stix Naargle Helphender Dracobus XXVIII
Gender/race/class/alignment: Female Gnome Cleric, Chaotic Neutral
Deity: Fharlanghn, god of roads
Domains: Travel and Luck
Vitals: 3'2" 40lbs, 63 years old
Stats: 10 strength, 11 dexterity, 13 constitution, 9 intelligence, 16 wisdom, 12 charisma
Looks: Short curly red hair, blue eyes, generally cutsie
Personality: Annoying airhead
Special skills: Animal affinity, heal, spellcraft, use rope
Special spells: Speak with animal, dancing lights, ghost sound, prestidigitation
Weapons/armor: Two light maces, sling, scale mail
Adventure date: August 27th, 2006

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I fell out of a tree and landed on this lady named Alikhan. She said she was half an elf and a swashbuckler. We went to a town and tried to get a drink at the inn but people were mean to me. They were all very quiet and stared at us, especially at me. They looked angry. They suck. Some guy left the bar and I followed him and stood outside the inn wondering what was up. Ali came too. There was a big castle out there and suddenly a bunch of paladins came riding out towards the inn. They arrested us. They didn't have bunnies.

They took us to a jail cell inside the castle. There was a big market set up in the middle of this castle with jail cells all around the outside of the market. There was some guy with elf ears in the cell with us. I poked him in the knee, he had long white hair and a long sword and was all dressed in cool black stuff. I asked him if he had a bunny, and he said he ate one!!! He's icky. Ali talked to the guards a lot. I was bored. Then there was some dwarf and Ali talked to him too. I asked if he had a bunny. The dwarf left and came back with a bunny!!! I love my bunny. He's a brown bunny, I wanted a white one but that's okay. I named him Bunny. I talked to him. He was scared and worried I would eat him because all his family just got eaten. I told him I would never eat him and would keep him safe. He wanted to hide so I cuddled him in my cloak and he was happy. Bunnnnyyyyy. ♥

Ali probably talked more I don't remember I fell asleep. Oh yeah the guards brought us nice cots, I'm glad Ali can talk so well. Anyways we were asleep and then in the morning they woke us up and lined everybody up outside the cells. They said we had to go do some stupid quest for them. Find some stuff the king had lost or got stolen or something. They didn't really say what we were looking for. How are we supposed to find stuff when we don't know what we're looking for?? There were some other prisoners too who got forced into this deal. I guess the people around here really hate anybody but humans. And dwarves. I guess.

So we went in this big cage carriage thing that had a lot of people in it and lots of big horses to pull it. The people were all clerics and wizards and paladins and rangers and stuff. I asked why there were so many people and they said it was because they had to get the special things back for the king. I thought it was just the prisoners who were going. Oh well, maybe we'll kick serious butt with all these people.

The special things were taken by kobolds who ambushed the dwarves who were guarding the stuff a week ago. So we went to a kobold cave thingy and there was some more talking. Somewhere along the way Ali found out we were looking for a ring, a wand, and a crown. Anybody who had all of these things could technically become king. So the current king was really worried about it, or something. It sounds like he'd knocked off the old king. I don't really care, they were not talking about bunnies. I looked at the ground and found my feet. Awesome, I've been looking for those!

The people were split up into three groups and I was in the first group with Ali and the other elfy guy from earlier in the cell. I think he was half an elf too. I don't remember. Ali made me a hat thingy to put Bunny in so I could carry him on my head. Bunnyyyy! ♥ The human people said it was time to go down into the caves and get the special stuff back from the kobolds. They made us go first with the rest of the group behind us and we went into this big hole in the ground leading to the kobold caves or something. Right away there was a passage to the right and the left. I wanted to go right. They did what I said, yay! We found an intersection, with a path going straight and one going left. I looked down at the dirt and saw some weird wet stuff. I touched it and it was kinda hot. Then a flask of burning oil junk smashed into the wall behind us. We jumped out of the way and saw kobolds coming at us from the left passage. Like, five of them. I think.

We fought them, I hit them with my sling lots. Most of our big group was still stuck behind us in the passage and we heard them fighting even more kobolds back there. We also heard orc sounds and... a baby dragon?? Weird. We killed all the kobolds on our end but the elfy guy sucked at fighting so bad he stuck his sword in the ceiling and fell over and knocked himself out. A kobold stabbed him in the neck. He was really screwed. Serves him right for eating bunnies. Ali tried to bandage him and she sucked at it. I did it too and I did a really good job, of course. I couldn't get him to wake up though. Some other cleric did wake him up just as me and Ali decided to bail on these jokers. Sucky elfy dude followed us down the passage the kobolds came from that we had killed.

There was another intersection, going straight, right, and left. We went left again because we realized the passage would lead back to the entrance and we could attack whatever had come after the back end of the group. There were a couple of kobolds there who didn't see us and we killed 'em. There was a lot of dead stuff and two kobolds left who were cowering in fear. Ali got the other people to hang on a sec and she talked to the kobolds in whatever the heck language they speak. Meanwhile I looked at the ground and saw a funny donut-shaped impression in the ground. I poked it but it was just a shape left over from something. Ali had seen it and asked the kobolds if they had a ring. Eventually Ali searched them and one of them did have a ring, a plain gold thing that looked totally boring.

There was a lot of arguing about the ring and junk so I got bored and went back down the passage we'd come from to the four-way intersection. I saw a baby kobold squeak and run off. I went back and told Ali. I think. I forget. I know I went back to Ali for a bit but that was boring so I went back to the intersection again. Ali followed me, tired of bantering with the stupid paladins and rangers and crap. We went left at the intersection, deeper into the tunnel system. There was another branch to the left and the right, and we went left. Then the paladin said they were all leaving. And if we didn't give them the ring there'd be trouble. He had a couple of those darn rangers with him. Ali gave him the ring and we said we didn't wanna go back with them, plus we were confused since we hadn't found the wand and the crown yet. They were like, "Whatever" and were gonna leave without us. Yay! Losers. I drew pictures on the wall with chalk while the other people argued, I liked the one of Bunny being all big and huge and monsterous with blood dripping from his fangs. I'm sure that helped the baby kobolds get to sleep better.

So anyways the elfy guy left too. Butthead. Ali and I went further down the passage and found a big cave with a huge shaft in the ceiling going up to somewhere with daylight. There was a lot of dirt and crap under the shaft in a big messy pile. And there were lots of baby kobolds and mommies and some guards too but they looked scared and didn't really want to fight us cuz we're so uber. Ali talked to them and I tried to give them some cheese but they didn't like it. They suck. Ali talked a lot and she said the kobolds said a bunch of gnomes came and killed a lot of them last week. I guess that's why they didn't want my cheese. They suck so much.

So we decided to go back to the human peoples. They hadn't left yet cuz they had to bandage their wounded and junk. When we got back into the rolling cage thingy we noticed there were a lot of people missing. The others said they'd died and they weren't gonna bring the dead bodies back or something. I played with Bunny and showed him to this dwarf while Ali took something out of his pocket. I bet it was that stupid ring. I really wasn't paying attention. Bunnnyyyy! ♥ And I think I found a copper on the floor.

We didn't go back to the castle, we went behind the castle to where the dwarves were. The humans were sorta dependant on the dwarves for stuff. The dwarf place was set into a big huge mountain and on top of the mountain was snow that was melting. The river we'd seen yesterday in town came from here, but it looked like the snow was melting a lot and the river was much more watery than before. I said, "What, ya got a dragon in there or something?" and one of the paladin guys looked at me funny. I'm not sure why we were there but they wouldn't let us inside and there was a lot of talking and Ali talked to a dwarf or something and meanwhile I wandered around outside the dwarf castle gates where everyone was waiting looking kinda stupid. I found a button! Button button button I pushed the button lots and lots! And then a dwarf said, "Please don't do that!" and whispered to me that if I would quit pushing the button he'd take me inside where they weren't letting anyone else go and and show me a secret. I guess the hidden button I was pushing opened the doors to the dwarf place. I just liked pushing it, it was a cool button.

Okay so the dwarf took me inside and showed me that behind this big barrier we couldn't see past before there was a huge red dragon who'd hollowed a big cave out of the nice dwarf tunnels that the dwarf's great great great something-or-other built out of his blood, sweat, tears, toenails, whatever. The dragon was sitting on sparrrrrkly gold and lots of it. The dwarfs were giving it lots of food and stuff and bowing and scared and stuff. The dwarf said they were trying to figure out how to get rid of the dragon. I was like, "Okay" and he made me promise not to tell. I was so happy because I'm so smart I figured the dragon thing out all on my own!

As soon as I got back to Ali I whispered the secret to her. She thought it was interesting. She talked some more and I got bored and found some rocks I kept for my sling. The dwarfs said goodbye and shut the doors and I pushed the button! The doors started to open and then started closing again. I pushed the button again! The doors opened a little and shut again and someone cast a spell and the damn button didn't work no more. Poop. I went back into the carriage cage dealy and played with Bunny. We eventually arrived back in town and there was a lot more talking talking talking. The humans said we could sleep in the barracks that night. So we did. In the middle of the night a really big dragonfly landed on the window sill and it was so loud it woke us up. That or Bunny kicked me. I forget. Ali threw a rock at the bug and it left. I talked to Bunny and asked if the dragonfly had said anything interesting. Bunny said, "I'm just a bunny. Why don't you talk to the dragonfly?" And I said, "Because I can only talk to burrowing animals, dummy!"

And then there was this whispering outside in the dark and Ali talked to somebody in some weird language again (she does a lot of that). Ali told me that there was a gnome out there talking in elvish wanting the ring we'd found earlier so he and his secret society could bring the supposedly-dead former king back to life or something. The old king was an elf or half an elf or something. But the problem was that the human paladin guy had the ring now. I think. I dunno, it was hard to keep track, because there was a fake ring too or something. After that whole business was over cuz the gnome had to leave or something I chucked Bunny out the window to look for cool stuff. He hopped around and I got bored so I put some rope out and he munched down on it and I pulled him back and went back to sleep.

So in the morning a dwarf shows up and takes Ali away to talk some more and I wanted to sleep more. She told me later he really wanted that ring so that the dwarves could use it. The dwarves had the crown and the wand the whole time! They were probably the ones who were supposed to be guarding the crap a week ago or something. Somehow the ring had gone missing and ended up with the kobolds or whatever. I dunno. It's all waaaaaaaaay too complicated for me. Ali told him she didn't have the ring, and he was wondering how to get it from the humans. I was bored and went outside the barracks with Bunny, I couldn't understand anything Ali and the dwarf were saying cuz it was in another language again.


Ali said we should see if we can find the gnome from last night, and she told the dwarf about him and how maybe he could help with the ring business. I yelled at the top of my lungs, "HEY GNOME GUY FROM LAST NIGHT PLEASE COME HERE!" Some old lady came over and asked me if I'd lost my mommy. I'm 63 years old, damn it! I told her to shove the hell off. Then I saw a bunny by the edge of the forest just outside town! A white bunny!!! CUUUUUUUUTE!!!! It was by the edge of the forest around the town so I ran over there. Ali followed me. She was tired of the whiny dwarf who'd apparently skipped town when I started yelling.

There was a gnome there who grabbed the bunny and said he'd eat it if I didn't give him the ring. I told him I didn't have no stupid ring. Ali said the humans had it. The gnome seemed very disturbed and wanted our help to get the ring for him. This was the same gnome as last night I guess. Stupid gnome. I'm way smarter than him and better looking. And he was gonna hurt the bunny!!! Ali snatched it away and gave it to me but it was all squirmy. My bunny was next to me so I put the new bunny down there and they sniffed each other and made funny bunny noises. Then they started working on making a whole bunny family! Right there in public! Crazy bunnies. Meanwhile Ali and the gnome were talking more. Yay. Ali told him she didn't really care who got the damn ring. She'd had enough of all this talking and intrigue and lying and junk. About time! The bunnies got all tired out so I put them in a sack and they went to sleep. We left the gnome behind with his thumb up his butt and got the heck outa town. We found a ship at a nearby port and went saaaaailing.

So now I'm sitting here on the deck writing stuff. They say we'll have nasty weather later. Yay. I hate boats, they move funny. I was sick earlier. I was thinking while I was sick though. I thought about the baby dragon we'd heard in the kobold cave. Did that have something to do with the dragon in the dwarf place? Someone had mentioned they thought the humans had put the dragon in the dwarf city to screw the dwarves because the humans really were total bigots. And that human paladin guy looked at me funny when I was asking the dwarfs if they had a dragon in their place cuz the snow was melting. Huh. I dunno. Dragons eat bunnies so I don't much like dragons. And the dwarves were annoying, except that one who gave me Bunny, yay! And the humans sucked. So they can figure their own damn problems out. And I get to play with Bunny and his new girlyfriend Rabbit. ♥


Edit: hehee.. posted the madness at DA.
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