meme and randomness
May. 23rd, 2006 10:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tirsdenI updated my WoW fansite today, friends can find it thru my character post. I'm sick as a dog, dang kids keep bringing crap home from school and this time it hit me like I expected it to... unlike last time where I got lucky and didn't get real sick.
Now for teh meme,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
blackmanta tagged me. XD
List ten (10) things you want to say to ten (10) different people.
Do not state who these people are.
Do not confirm or deny any 'comment speculation'.
Tag five (5) people
(Hint: None of these are on my friend's list.)
1) I admire you more than anything else in the world, and that's saying quite a bit, considering all my obsessions. I wish we could be friends... okay I wish for a lot more than that... but the odds of that happening are........... sigh.
2) I miss you. I wonder where you are. You disappeared so fast from the face of the earth... I hope you're safe, and I wonder if you'd be disappointed in me for turning against religion... or if you have as well. You were so strong in the faith back then. I just hope life hasn't been as cruel to you as it has to me. Best of luck, wherever you are.
3) I miss you as well. You were my Momma. You had real-life problems that made me hurt so bad for you, but we had a lot of fun while we had the time. You disappeared as well, like you'd never existed, but at a different stage of my life. (Hmm, I wonder if I've got some weird sort of abandonment anxiety thing going on... have never thought about it that way.) I hope you came through your troubles as well. It's not fair for good people to get screwed with like you did. *hugs*
4) I hate you. I hate living in your house every damn day. I worked so hard to try and stay away from the very place I've returned. I'm trying my best to get away from you and you seem to want me to stay here (and I know you've tried to understand me a little, and I appreciate that you make phone calls for me... sometimes on time, as if my life might actually matter... but it's way too little too late). You think you can just ignore my problems and they'll get better. As long as I'm not screaming "I FUCKING HATE YOU" all day long, you think I'm okay. I am only civil because the remnants of my good qualities say I should be... sometimes I think I'm entirely too greatful and maybe I should be screaming at you. I just live through each day hoping I'll get out of your worthless house and somewhere safe. ...Why the hell did you tell me you hit me once when I was a little girl?? Your confession obviously made you feel better, but it brought a whole new load of worries into my already strained mind. Confess to a damn priest next time and leave me the hell alone.
5) I don't even want to talk to you.
6) I know you're not a real, honest, human-being-type person, but you were to me... it was unfair I couldn't take you with me, and that you died due to the negligence of others. i miss u.
7) I'm sorry I didn't end up in the sort of successful life you always envisioned I'd have. I've thought about calling the place you worked to try and reestablish contact... but I am ashamed at where my life has led and I can't face telling you what's happened. I'm sorry. No, it's not my fault what happened, and I shouldn't blame myself... but I think you will be happier not knowing. Ignorance is bliss, yes? Okay so maybe I'm an idiot for saying that. Might be one reason why I failed so badly.
8) I pretty much said what I needed to say to you, and I was nicer than you deserved. I did misunderstand one thing you said, but in the end it makes no difference. If you had said, "Hey, I think you didn't get this right, here's what I meant / what's up with you?" or whatever, that would have helped prove that you weren't a fake, irresponsible, selfish fuck-up. But, it's when we're under the most pressure that our true spirit shows, and yours showed like the big fat beacon it is. I don't really see any point in saying this here, but it's been in my head and I thought I'd get it off my chest. I just hope you don't fuck anybody else over like you did me. And your child was right... "I didn't ask for a mommy like you" was more than a red flag, it was her telling you exactly what she thinks of you. I'm sorry I ever supported you, listened to your lies, gave you advice you couldn't even follow because of the lies, and... and... oh fuck it, I shouldn't be wasting my time on this shit.
9) Eh, I said exactly what needed to be said to you when you last reared your ugly head out of the abyss of my traumas. You deserve no more words, except that I know you tried to screw with my kid sister's head not long ago and you scared her. She doesn't even know the half of it and she knows to stay away from your sorry ass. BACK OFF BITCH and I hope to hell you are smart enough to leave well enough alone. But this sorta proves you can't, eh? GET HELP.
10) I want to thank you for keeping Timmy for me. I hope he's doing okay with you and his little ferret buddy. I know you must be confused, and it hurts me to think you might believe it was my ex who was in the right and not me... that you might still be friends with that asshole. I hope you were able to see through it, and I hope... I hope you can get a better life than the one you were living when I last saw you. I wasn't gonna include you in this list but in the end... it's something I've wanted to say for a long time.
Tagged:aridiar, hunter_ryu, l_u_d_g_e, selphiroth, zeiramthehunter
Now for teh meme,
blackmanta tagged me. XDList ten (10) things you want to say to ten (10) different people.
Do not state who these people are.
Do not confirm or deny any 'comment speculation'.
Tag five (5) people
(Hint: None of these are on my friend's list.)
1) I admire you more than anything else in the world, and that's saying quite a bit, considering all my obsessions. I wish we could be friends... okay I wish for a lot more than that... but the odds of that happening are........... sigh.
2) I miss you. I wonder where you are. You disappeared so fast from the face of the earth... I hope you're safe, and I wonder if you'd be disappointed in me for turning against religion... or if you have as well. You were so strong in the faith back then. I just hope life hasn't been as cruel to you as it has to me. Best of luck, wherever you are.
3) I miss you as well. You were my Momma. You had real-life problems that made me hurt so bad for you, but we had a lot of fun while we had the time. You disappeared as well, like you'd never existed, but at a different stage of my life. (Hmm, I wonder if I've got some weird sort of abandonment anxiety thing going on... have never thought about it that way.) I hope you came through your troubles as well. It's not fair for good people to get screwed with like you did. *hugs*
4) I hate you. I hate living in your house every damn day. I worked so hard to try and stay away from the very place I've returned. I'm trying my best to get away from you and you seem to want me to stay here (and I know you've tried to understand me a little, and I appreciate that you make phone calls for me... sometimes on time, as if my life might actually matter... but it's way too little too late). You think you can just ignore my problems and they'll get better. As long as I'm not screaming "I FUCKING HATE YOU" all day long, you think I'm okay. I am only civil because the remnants of my good qualities say I should be... sometimes I think I'm entirely too greatful and maybe I should be screaming at you. I just live through each day hoping I'll get out of your worthless house and somewhere safe. ...Why the hell did you tell me you hit me once when I was a little girl?? Your confession obviously made you feel better, but it brought a whole new load of worries into my already strained mind. Confess to a damn priest next time and leave me the hell alone.
5) I don't even want to talk to you.
6) I know you're not a real, honest, human-being-type person, but you were to me... it was unfair I couldn't take you with me, and that you died due to the negligence of others. i miss u.
7) I'm sorry I didn't end up in the sort of successful life you always envisioned I'd have. I've thought about calling the place you worked to try and reestablish contact... but I am ashamed at where my life has led and I can't face telling you what's happened. I'm sorry. No, it's not my fault what happened, and I shouldn't blame myself... but I think you will be happier not knowing. Ignorance is bliss, yes? Okay so maybe I'm an idiot for saying that. Might be one reason why I failed so badly.
8) I pretty much said what I needed to say to you, and I was nicer than you deserved. I did misunderstand one thing you said, but in the end it makes no difference. If you had said, "Hey, I think you didn't get this right, here's what I meant / what's up with you?" or whatever, that would have helped prove that you weren't a fake, irresponsible, selfish fuck-up. But, it's when we're under the most pressure that our true spirit shows, and yours showed like the big fat beacon it is. I don't really see any point in saying this here, but it's been in my head and I thought I'd get it off my chest. I just hope you don't fuck anybody else over like you did me. And your child was right... "I didn't ask for a mommy like you" was more than a red flag, it was her telling you exactly what she thinks of you. I'm sorry I ever supported you, listened to your lies, gave you advice you couldn't even follow because of the lies, and... and... oh fuck it, I shouldn't be wasting my time on this shit.
9) Eh, I said exactly what needed to be said to you when you last reared your ugly head out of the abyss of my traumas. You deserve no more words, except that I know you tried to screw with my kid sister's head not long ago and you scared her. She doesn't even know the half of it and she knows to stay away from your sorry ass. BACK OFF BITCH and I hope to hell you are smart enough to leave well enough alone. But this sorta proves you can't, eh? GET HELP.
10) I want to thank you for keeping Timmy for me. I hope he's doing okay with you and his little ferret buddy. I know you must be confused, and it hurts me to think you might believe it was my ex who was in the right and not me... that you might still be friends with that asshole. I hope you were able to see through it, and I hope... I hope you can get a better life than the one you were living when I last saw you. I wasn't gonna include you in this list but in the end... it's something I've wanted to say for a long time.
Tagged:
aridiar, hunter_ryu, l_u_d_g_e, selphiroth, zeiramthehunter
