pants or no pants

[tirsden]

This is something one of my cousins found and sent me at DA (he found me there a few weeks ago lol).



Top 25 Lines in Star Wars that Can Be Improved by Substituting the word "Pants"

1. A tremor in the pants. The last time I felt this was in the presence of my old master.

2. You are unwise to lower your pants.

3. We've got to be able to get some reading on those pants, up or down.

4. She must have hidden the plans in her pants. Send a detachment down to retrieve them. See to it personally Commander.

5. These pants may not look like much, kid, but they've got it where it counts.

6. I find your lack of pants disturbing.

7. These pants contain the ultimate power in the Universe. I suggest we use it.

8. Han will have those pants down. We've got to give him more time!

9. General Veers, prepare your pants for a surface assault.

10. I used to bulls-eye womp-rats in my pants back home.

11. TK-421. . . Why aren't you in your pants?

12. Lock the door. And hope they don't have pants.

13. Governor Tarkin. I recognized your foul pants when I was brought on board.

14. You look strong enough to pull the pants off of a Gundark.

15. Luke. . . Help me take...these pants off.

16. Great, Chewie, great. Always thinking with your pants.

17. That blast came from those pants. That thing's operational!

18. Don't worry. Chewie and I have gotten into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than this.

19. Maybe you'd like it back in your pants, your highness.

20. Your pants betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially one. Your sister!

21. Jabba doesn't have time for smugglers who drop their pants at the first sign of an Imperial Cruiser.

22. Yeah, well short pants is better than no pants at all, Chewie.

23. Attention. This is Lando Calrissean. The Empire has taken control of my pants, I advise everyone to leave before more troops arrive.

24. I cannot teach him. The boy has no pants.

25. You came in those pants? You're braver than I thought.



After reading that and thoroughly lauging my arse off I went looking for other movie quotes real quick and came up with some good stuff fairly quickly by warping The Matrix:

Neo: "Why do my pants hurt?"

Morpheus: "You've never used them before."


Morpheus: "If real is what you can feel, smell, taste and see, then 'real' is simply electrical signals interpreted by your pants."



the deviantART version: http://tirsden.deviantart.com/journal/10796006/

Comments

[l-u-d-g-e.livejournal.com]

Love that! It works for various Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy quotes, too:

1. There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what pants are for and why they're here, they will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another which states that this has already happened.


2. Arthur felt happy. He was terribly pleased that the day was for once working out so much according to plan. Only twenty minutes ago he had decided he would go mad, and now here he was already chasing pants across the fields of prehistoric Earth.


3. The Infinite Improbability Drive is a wonderful new method of crossing vast interstellar distances in a mere nothingth of a second, without all that tedious mucking about in pants.


4. "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" says that the effect of drinking a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is like having your pants smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.


5. At that moment the bottom fell out of Arthur's mind. His eyes turned inside out. His feet began to leak out of the top of his head. The room folded flat around him, spun around, shifted out of existence and left him sliding into his own navel. They were passing through pants.


6. One of the major difficulties Trillian experienced in her relationship with Zaphod was learning to distinguish between him pretending to be stupid just to get people off their pants, pretending to be stupid because he couldn't be bothered to think and wanted someone else to do it for him, pretending to be outrageously stupid to hide the fact that he actually didn't understand what was going on, and really being genuinely stupid.


7. Trillian burst in through the door from her cabin. "My pants have escaped!" she said. An expression of deep worry and concern failed to cross either of Zaphod's faces. "Nuts to your pants," he said.


8. The two opposing leaders were meeting for the last time. A dreadful silence fell across the conference table as the commander of the Vl'hurgs, resplendent in his black jeweled battle shorts, gazed levelly at the G'Gugvuntt leader squatting opposite him in a cloud of green sweet-smelling steam, and, with a million sleek and horribly beweaponed pants poised to unleash electric death at his single word of command, challenged the vile creature to take back what it had said about his mother.

[tirsden.livejournal.com]

LMAO. Awesome! Yes, this concept has so much potential... XD

Priest Vito Cornelius, The Fifth Element: "There, you see how all your so-called power counts for absolutely nothing? How your entire empire of pants comes... crashing down. All because of one little... cherry."

...that one's just plain wrong on all levels LOL.

[l-u-d-g-e.livejournal.com]

You could do bible quotes:

"Let he who is without pants cast the first stone." LOL

[tirsden.livejournal.com]

oh... god? LOL. Okay I gotta go throw this back on DA as a journal entry and see what else we can get. XD

[l-u-d-g-e.livejournal.com]

While we're having so much fun, let's enjoy this, too:

http://isnt.autistics.org/

[tirsden.livejournal.com]

LMFAO!! omg... *lost in reading about teh fascinating disorder* =O

updated the original post with the DA version url ( http://tirsden.deviantart.com/journal/10796006/ )

[l-u-d-g-e.livejournal.com]

I think this would make a fun topic in Chatterbox on Gaiaonline. You could invite folks to post their favorite "altered" quotes.

[tirsden.livejournal.com]

This is true! Hmm hmm... *adds it to the to-do list of d00m* XD